One Liners

 ‎"Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"

"Hey, I'm gay, want to take a shower? No really, my name is gay. shit I hate my parents!"

"You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!"

"Hi... would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me real hard!!"

"If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big dick."

"I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!"

"They call me "coffee". I grind so fine."

"Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it."

"You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear."

"Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?"

"Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!"

"Excuse me, but do you do Pilates? With an ass like that, I would think so."

"Do you have a quarter? I told my ex boyfriend that I would call him when I found someone better."

"Is your last name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get."

"I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?"

"Want to get some air? You took my breath away."

"Aren't you the guy who's supposed to buy me drink?"

"Do you have a band-aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."

"I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"

"I am feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?"

"I am not feeling myself today, can I feel you?"

"You've been a bad boy! Now go to 'my' room."

"I lost my virginity, can I have yours?"

"What do you call a lesbian with two girlfriends?  A bush hog."

"Tonight I will be using a stunt liver."

"I'm tired of your mouth......I'm pullin out!!"

"How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach, it ain't hard..."

"Woke up this morning at 7:30 with a dog staring me in face, he wanted to go out. Whose dog is this and whose house am I in? How much did I drink last night"

"Two days ago my friend got a tattoo saying "I ruin Lives". It's huge and green and on his back, man I love college.

"I'd like to run up n down ur slip n slide"